They're Blinding Me With Science!!

There's a movie from the 80's called Scanners, where people's heads explode. I now have a deeper understanding of this film, as I've now had several applications for jobs rejected because my resume didn't make it through the scanner. Until I lost my job, I had no idea that companies now use scanning technology to vet resumes before they go in front of human eyes. So, if you don't have the right words in your resume, or if you have a character the scanner doesn't recognize, it kicks it right out and a human will never even see it. It makes my head explode to think that I'm now being rejected for jobs by robots. O Great Robot Overlords! I beseech thee to please review my resume again! I really do have some usable skills! I'm willing to learn simple mechanical maintenance to be of use to Our Great Robot Leaders!! A Blessing on Your Circuits!

Biting the Bullet (Journal) - Part Deux

Okay...let's try this again! To refresh, a Bullet Journal is an analog method of organizing one's life. Studies have shown that physically writing things down more firmly embeds them into our brains, improving memory and recall. It's a method that is easily personalized to one's own needs and can be as elaborate or as simple as one wants. Generally, the bullet journal combines calendaring, tasks, appointments, logs (called "collections"), and some element of "journaling" - capturing elements in our lives we want to remember or otherwise note. Again, if you Google "Bullet Journal", you will see all kinds of iterations, from really fancy and elaborate, to very simple. Mine is sort of half-way between. As you will recall from my previous post, I sort of stumbled at my first attempt to get set up. I bought a ruled notebook and pens that bled through badly. I realized that I would rather have a grid-format notebook, and found a Moleskine 5.5X8 notebook that was perfect. I also bought different pens that didn't bleed through. I decided to set up my journal as follows:

Index and Symbol Key

Year-at-a-Glance Calendar

Collections (I allocated a page to each, but can expand as I wish)

    Family and Friends Contact Information

    Household Service Company Info (Plumber, HVAC, etc)

    Birthdays

    Household Projects List

    Job Search Log

    Habits Log (Recording good habits!)

    Gift Ideas

    TV Shows I Want to Record/Watch

  ...and then several pages more for future logs!

Monthly Log (capturing events or important points to remember for the month

Weekly Log

    Tasks

    Appointments

    Notes about the day

    Things I want to remember

Once I had my supplies and how I wanted to organize it, I sat down a got it set up:

Moleskine Notebook:

I like the grids because it keeps my lines straight!


Index and Symbol Key


Year-At-A-Glance


One of my Collections - Household Projects!


Weekly Log Page:


As you can see, I haven't gotten too fancy yet -- I've picked up some stickers and other fun things, but I'm never going to be doing calligraphy!  I'm already seeing the benefits of it -- after this initial set-up, it's really only a few minutes each day to keep it updated. My goal is to set aside a few minutes in the evening to reflect on the day, capture any notes, see what's happening the following day, etc.

I'll let you know how it goes! Oh, and if this inspires you to start your own journal, keep me posted and let me know how yours is going!

Biting the Bullet

I have become obsessed with the new fad of bullet journaling. Bullet Journaling was created by someone named Ryder Carroll and is an analog-based system of life organization, journaling, list-keeping, calendar management, what-have-you. There's a whole website about it that I haven't even looked at (bulletjournal.com). I saw the term used and started Googling it and got to all the cool Pinterest boards with TONS of cute, creative and impossibly clever bullet journals. I'm already an inveterate list-maker and calendar-keeper, and I've tried journaling at various times over the years without much success (as with blogging, I'm all gung-ho at first and then peter-off over time.) This looked like an interesting way to organize my life. And it would require that I purchase items from Office Depot like a new notebook and cool pens and stuff. And...well...to say I like office supplies is like saying someone likes heroin. I'm hooked on the junk and only multi-colored post-its will satisfy the cravings.

I decided to start Day 1 today, as it was August 1st and Monday and what better day to start something like this?  I think I will blog about this experience as I go along, so I can look back and bask in the satisfaction of a job well done. Here we go!

DAY 1: Supplies and Setting up My Bullet Journal:

Look, you guys --- new supplies!! Swoon!! Lookit my new notebook...and pens, brand new multi-colored pens...and stencils! Did you see the stencils? And Washi Tape! Um, so I'm not really sure what the Washi Tape is for, but its adorable so...I'm all set!

Time to set up my Index and Symbol Key:

Nice, right? Not too fancy, but a little creative. Still not sure where the Washi Tape goes...

Dammit! My cool pens leak through...GRRRRR!! Okay, no problem. I'm Zen. I'll just skip pages, no worries! Next I'll set up my Year-at-a-Glance page. It's great because I can just start with August 2016 and end up with August 2017 or later!

DAMMIT!! Can someone in the class tell me what Kelly did wrong?? BLERG!!! And the bleed-through is KILLING my OCD side! GRRRRRRR!! Okay...this project that was supposed to be a centering exercise to get me to a state or organizational bliss has made me a little...tense. I think I'll put it aside for a bit - at least until I get a new notebook with thicker pages, or pens that don't bleed.



Oh, But I did figure out a use for the Washi Tape...

These Dreams Go On When I Close My Eyes

Don't you love when people tell you about their dreams? I know you do, so here goes: I often will have dreams that encompass the entire night and feel so real that, when I become conscious enough to think about them, I sometimes can't determine whether the dream is real or not. These dreams are typically centered around something that I have done, or forgot to do, that is causing stress and anxiety. When I was working, I would often dream that I had missed several key deliverables in a project and I was going to have to explain to my bosses why I had dropped the ball. Last night, I dreamed that I had committed a large amount of our money to buying a portion of a steer (for meat) in partnership with my friend Claire (Hi Claire, for your birthday you get to star in my anxiety dream!!). And this isn't just any beef -- it's Kobe or Wagyu or some other beef that is super expensive because they raise the animal in a suite at the Bellagio, feeding it caviar and gold whilst geishas continuously massage it. So I'm into this commitment BIG -- but I haven't told Glenn that I've done this. So all night long, I kept waking up just enough to think, "How the hell am I going to tell Glenn that, despite being unemployed, I've committed thousands of dollars to Claire?". Or, I would wake up and think, "How am I going to tell Claire that I have to back out of this deal? She's going to be furious! And its not her fault!". And each time I wake up I am also telling myself, "This isn't real. Go back to sleep. You don't owe Claire money. But...maybe I do? I remember doing it -- we signed papers and stuff! It IS real! Oh SHIT! No, dummy...No it isn't...why on earth would Claire be dealing high-end beef? It doesn't make sense! Go back to sleep, you wacko!" So there you go -- a glimpse into my subconscious. Fun, huh?

Has Anyone Seen My Right Arm?

MDH has been up north the past two days/nights with his dad, who had open-heart surgery this week. I stayed home to keep an eye on our dawg and keep the home-fires burning. But I will admit that I was secretly looking forward to being a bachelorette for a couple days. Whole bed to myself, watch whatever I want on TV, eat whatever I want. If there is one thing I ever miss about being single, its autonomy. Being able to do whatever I want, whenever I want, without having to run things by another person. But you know what? It's boring without my bestie. The house feels like something important is missing -- like someone sneaked in and stole the couch. And, after all my bitching about not being able to sleep well because someone else is in the bed with me, I sleep EVEN WORSE without my man -- the bed is too big and his side is too cold and, no matter what I do, I can't get the dog to sleep on the bed with me! That being said, I have enjoyed eating whatever the hell I want, whenever I want (coconut curry chicken at 7:30AM, y'all!). Even so, its time for my right arm to come on home -- I need some sleep!

What Color is Your Passionfruit?

I've started reading "What Color is Your Parachute?" to help in the job search, but I still haven't gotten to the part where it talks about my parachute, not to mention the color it's supposed to be. But I have been noodling on the question of passion. I've been asked a few times, when talking about what sorts of careers I might want, "Well, what's the thing you're really PASSIONATE about?". It stumps me every time. See, I'm not really that passionate about anything. There. I said it. Whew! That felt good! I know its not a popular idea -- Pinterest is just stuffed with passionate pursuits. But I'm just not someone who has a particular focus on one specific thing. I enjoy a variety of interests, but I can honestly say none inspire passion (well, other than passionate love for MDH!). So I'm going to stop obsessing over figuring out my "passion" and how I can find a job that feeds it, and instead turn that energy into finding a job that isn't soul-sucking, that pays me enough money to enjoy the non-job parts of my life, and that (hopefully) doesn't require me to commute on Highway 26. Or 405. Or I-5. Or 217. Because if I have to traverse any of those routes regularly, I can tell you what will become my passion -- tamping down my natural urge to murder every other driver on the road. Can Road Rage be a passion?

To Sleep...Perchance, to Dream...of Sleeping

I miss sleep. I miss it so much. This was going to be a long post, but I'm too tired. I'll just post this instead:

Regrets...I've had a Few

I don't spend a lot of time dwelling on regrets, because I don't really have that many. Or rather, I don't have that many small, insignificant ones that occupy a space in my fretting box. But I have a couple of biggies that come up from time to time. The one I take out and examine most often is I wish I would have stayed in college when I was young and finished at least a Bachelor's degree. Two things happened to cause me to veer off-course in that regard -- one, I was never an enthusiastic student. I did enough to keep my grades above a D, but I never pushed myself -- especially in the classes I didn't like or that didn't come easily. Put another way, I got "A"s in any English or Writing class I ever took, and was thrilled when I was able to pull a "C" in math or science. When I was about to go into my Senior year of high school, my advisor called me in and said, "I'm not sure how this happened, but you've managed to get through 3 years of high school without having taken a single math class. You are going to have to at least pass Freshman Algebra in order to graduate!" So I, grudgingly, took and passed the class (and, to my knowledge, have never once used anything I learned in that class!). So when it came time for college, I signed up for academic classes like a good girl, along with the theater classes I was really interested in. Soon, I was blowing off boring academic classes and spending all my time in the theater department, cultivating my dramatic identity (which mostly consisted of smoking long, brown More cigarettes and developing mad crushes on every gay guy in the theater department (aka -- every guy in the theater department). Fast forward a couple years and I have given up the idea of going into the theater and have gotten a job, which was reason #2 I didn't make school a priority. I got a really good job as an office manager for a computer supply company and it paid me WAY more than I should have been earning at 21 years old. My friends were all in the college trenches, living on Top Ramen and washing clothes in the bathtub because no quarters for the machine. I was buying a new car and getting myself into all kinds of credit-card debt (another cautionary tale for another time). I half-heartedly kept signing up for classes at the local JC, but always found reason to blow them off -- mostly because I had never developed any study discipline and found it too easy to procrastinate and do a half-assed job. Fast forward to now. I am going through a self-guided course to prep to sit for the CAPM (Certified Associate Project Manager) exam. Before I began, I developed a study schedule for myself with specific goals and methodology. And, although I am following it to the letter and it's working, I still struggle with that discipline, with focusing on the study and content retention -- the 50-year-old-brain is simply not as nimble as the 20-year-old brain. I have been thinking a lot about that long-held regret of not getting a degree and wondering whether I should take the leap and go back to college now, in the latter half of my life. I know it's not too late, but its such a big leap. Especially since what I REALLY would love to do is to go back and get a law degree. Oy vey, the very thought both intrigues me AND makes me nauseous. Doable? Yes, probably, but not without a huge upheaval in our lives and budget. Daunting? Oh yeah. Exciting to consider? Oh yeah.

Squad Goals

I know that I said that I was going to take the month of May as the sabbatical I was eligible for, but didn't take. But I also know myself. If I don't set a few productive tasks for myself each day, I will quickly devolve into a disheveled couch creature, binge-watching shows I never got around to while they were popular, whilst subsisting on nothing but grilled-cheese sandwiches and Little Debbie Swiss Rolls. So I've resolved to make sure I have at least 3 achievable goals set for the day. If I achieve them, then I get a reward. Like a nap. Or a Little Debbie Swiss Roll. Or 6 episodes of "Boardwalk Empire". Or all three (Ha! One for each goal achieved!). And the goals can't be wussy like, "Take a Shower!" or "Put on real clothes!". I have already achieved two goals today -- (1) becoming a member of the PMI (Project Management Institute)and (2) signing up to take an online course to prep for my CAPM (Certified Associate Project Manager) certification exam. A little something to punch up the old resume. Don't worry that I'm getting TOO productive -- I'll probably take a nap later!

As Long as the Dog is Happy

I've started (sort of) acclimating to unemployment. I no longer obsessively check my phone or ipad for emails or instant messages. I'm looking over the house, making lists of projects that have been put off for too long as, "when I have the time". I've got nothing BUT time now, so I have to eat my own dog food, I guess. Speaking of which, our Big Golden Dawg is quite happy having me home so much. She and I both need to take weight off, so she is getting lots more walks. In her case its less of a "walk" and more of an extended "sniff". MDH and I call it taking her for a smell. The world is one, gigantic olfactory nirvana to my dog. Like I browse Facebook, she browses her P-Mail, sometimes just glancing at it, sometimes catching a whiff of something much more intriguing. She will place her nose down and linger, huffing and chuffing, taking it all in. I'd love to see a computer readout of her brain waves, what information these scents are imparting. "Male Boxer. 6 Human Years. No Balls. Last ate a bowl of kibble and some cat poop." "Female Chihuahua. Scared of the vacuum. Recently tried to hump a garden hose. Not too bright." Or maybe, she just really loves the smell of pee. Hard to know.

Size the Day!

As a Woman of Size, it really bugs me when stores do everything they can to hide their plus-sized clothing section. I had to go to JC Penney today (not a store where I normally shop) and thought I'd check out their selection of blazers (need a nice look for interviews). The entire ground floor is all clothing and accessories -- for either regular-sized woman, teenaged girls, or "petites". When I asked where the "women sized" clothing was, the saleswoman sort of gave me a pitying look, pointed up, and whispered "that section is upstairs". It was like I had asked her where the adult diapers were. I took the escalator up and there, shoved into the back corner, behind housewares, was the "Women's" section. Like it was only there because it HAD to be. The selection was crappy, and so I just left and picked up what I had gone in for in the first place. But it really pissed me off. Other stores manage to merchandize their clothing in a way that appeals to all consumers (and they also understand that the majority of women in this country are a size 12+). It's astonishing that a retailer would marginalize a population of consumers in such an egregious manner. Ah well, I can just spend my money elsewhere (and I think I'll send a little tweet to JC Penn-Ay and let them know why they are on the brink of extinction as a company!)

Cleanliness is Next to Impossible

What to do, what to do with the time I have between taking a nice little breather (sort of looking at May as the four-week sabbatical I didn't get to take) and dedicated new-career-seeking activities? Well the first thing is a top-to-bottom cleaning of my house, something I haven't done in...ever. I'm not an enthusiastic housekeeper. Instead of cleaning the dust-bunnies from under the bed, I give them cute names and personalities. I only have 40-watt bulbs in the house ("mood lighting"). I purposely bought a really deep sink because from a distance it looks like there are no dirty dishes! The thing is, I would LOVE having a clean house always -- I just don't want to be the one to have to clean it. I loathe cleaning, but I enjoy throwing things out and organizing (somewhere My Darling Husband just felt a grave disturbance in The Force). Cleaning makes me tired. the thought of cleaning makes me tired. I became exhausted just thinking about beginning to make a list of the things that need to be done around this house. Calgon, Take Me Away! (If you are old enough to recognize that, then welcome to the Over-The-Hill Gang). Hey, wanna come over for a cleaning party? I'll buy the pizza!!

The Achy Breaky

Thoughts on aging -- it sucks. At this point I'd trade every bit of wisdom I've earned to just get back my ability to heal quickly. I'm still gimping around on this bum ankle, and compensating for it when I walk is now causing a whole host of other aches and pains. And, gosh, it would be so nice to be able to maintain a comfortable body temperature. At all times I am either too hot or too cold -- I'm the Bears' porridge. As for memory, it's a good thing MDH (My Darling Husband) is also losing his at the same rate as I -- between the two of us, we manage to remember about 3/4 of the stuff we need to remember. Tonight we both keep moaning because we're both achy -- his back! My leg! Whomever moans the loudest gets the sympathy and the back rub...and since I was the last to win that contest, it's only fair that I be the masseuse. Moan....moan...moan?

Once more, With Feeling!

Back by popular demand! Now being unemployed, I have no excuse not to blog (and I've been commanded to do so by my devoted fan base (my fan base being Ruth...hi Ruth!). So here I am, over 50 and back in the career dating pool. It's different now than it was 20 years ago. Used to be you scanned the Help Wanted adverts, sent your resume to anyone and everyone, and crossed your fingers. Now it's all social media and personal "branding". LinkedIn is the Tinder of job hunting. And should I start dyeing my hair again to compete with all these 12-year-olds, clutching their freshly-minted degrees? I guess I need to start by getting an interview "outfit" -- even in the PNW, one must show up in something snazzier than jeans and sneaks (these days I'm dressed for comfort, not for looks!)